A friend

"A man with many friends may come to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother" Prov. 18:4
I am profoundly comforted by the reality that during an extremely emotional eleven day vigil with my family gathered around my mother as she lay dying in a hospital bed,  I had one friend who was as close to me as my own brothers there in the room. He made it a point to come and sit with me every day,  just to listen and to comfort me in my grief. At a time when nothing seemed real,  I knew his friendship and caring concern for me was real because there where tears running down his cheeks. At a time like this it's difficult to tell people what you need when they ask you in a text "is there anything we can do" when you can't bring yourself to spell it out,  and that's when a good friend steps in and just does what is needed most and that is just to be there with you. However, words of condolence in a text or email are especially meaningful and comforting, but when distance is not a factor, words may not always be as necessary as just being there without even having to say anything.

Mother's passing

Today is a special day which shall always be with me because of my dear mother's passing. I don't have the emotional stamina to write much now, but so many things have happened on the spiritual and emotional level through this past eleven day vigil,  I expect it will take a long time to process it all. However, as part of how healing must already begin to take place,  it is important for me to make this post to mark the dawning of this new day. In my last post I alluded to circumstances which we can not see coming or even be anticipated. If I look back, even this last month, I was aware of my mother's physical condition deteriorating and becoming more and more of a concern, but my response was in denial.  The massive stroke which immediately landed her in the hospital, daily and slowly drew out of her all of the strength and vigor and fortitude I've always known my mother to have. This is just one of her many admirable traits I shall treasure and honor all the rest of my natural life.

In a large place

From my distress I called upon the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me in a large place. The Lord is for me, I will not fear, what can man do to me? The Lord is for me among those who help me. (Ps. 118:5-6)
  Distress is a word which comes from the Latin word distringere which means to stretch apart. I love the word picture from Lord of the Rings in which Bilbo Baggins says, " I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped across too much toast." The expectations of ourselves and others are at the root of our quandary, but here, rather than this be the focus, our attention is immediately drawn to the Lord, who is there, who answers and sets us in a large place.
  In this chapter and throughout king David's life for that matter, he was aware of enemies who sought his demise and by God's sovereign grace he was able to allude them time and time again. Being in a large place from a military standpoint would have been a place of safety because of his enemies being seen from afar off where he could plan and implement his strategies of defense. Sudden attack is what every great, military strategist plans against defensively.
  Apart from this perspective, one of the most profound experiences of my life happened in a large place which, like no other, left me with a new perspective on large places. When I was 14, I spent the summer with my uncle exploring the Canadian Rockies (Banff, Yoho, Jasper) . I will never forget how large and expansive was the lay of the land with its enormous, jagged, snow capped mountains looming over head and all around. I remember thinking on a smaller scale, one that I was familiar with and wondering why it seemed to take so long getting to the nearest mountain which seemed so close and yet so far away. We put in to Lake Louise with my uncle's homemade canoe and silently glided to the center of the lake on turquoise, glacial waters that seemed more like paint than water. It was at the center of this large place I sensed the fear of being so small and vulnerable.  The canoe we were in was made with a skin of fabric stretched over a wooden rib cage. In my young, uninformed mind, my thought was that, in the midst of these opaque waters, it only stands to reason that something very large might want to have us for lunch and there was no way to see it coming. All I could say at that point was on my epitaph it might read,  "he didn't see it coming".

Another year is about to come to a close while the next stretches out before us. How we feel about this past year may bring a sense of accomplishment, but I tend to think more often than not we are conditioned by our media to see things in a much more negative way. We are a nation plagued 24/7 with a constant barrage of catch phrases, cleverly and masterfully crafted to induce emotional trauma to our already overly traumatized and troubled psyche.
A great consolation to the heart, are the words from the old testament book of Isaiah, which says, "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You because he trust in You." In the Hebrew, the principal meaning of the word stayed is not a description of ones own effort to stay peaceful by the keeping of our own minds focused on God, although that is also to be a vital discipline within our thinking, but here, it means, God is the one who keeps us. The word stayed is better described as supported. As we, by His prevailing grace, entrust ourselves to Him, we shall find that we are sustained and kept in His perfect peace.
Rather than letting fear pervade our thinking, consider how the planets are all kept in their precise orbits, they do not keep themselves, but God keeps them. "Look at the birds of the air, they do not  sow, reap or gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them, are you not much more valuable than they. " And so, He who neither sleeps nor slumbers keeps us too!